Everybody has black days. So what should you do? Nothing. What's the point? Things rarely get better. It's best to just stop trying. Live every day as if it were your last . . . if you're lucky, it will be soon enough.

The Black Day Book

From 'Did Beatrix Potter ever write a book about dinosaurs?' to the hunt for a paperback which could forecast the next year's weather; and from 'I've forgotten my glasses, please read me the first chapter' to 'Excuse me... is this book edible?' This book includes top 'Weird Things' from bookshops around the world.

Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops

A book of humorous drawings and quips for children.

Bernice Myers' Book of Giggles

This is the ultimate joke book for Kool Kids. Andy Jones has collected hundreds of the hottest jokes, rhymes and riddles as he travelled around the country with his children's Show 'Andy Jones & The Funky Monkey'. Now all five of the best-selling Hot Jokes books are available in one side-splitting edition!

The Enormous Book of Hot Jokes for Kool Kids

488 Rules for Life is Kitty Flanagan's way of making the world a more pleasant place to live. Applying truth and wit to modern problems. An antidote to stupidity.

Kitty Flanagan's 488 Rules for Life

Joke Book/Puzzle Book

One of Australia's biggest comic personalities, much-loved host of Spicks and Specks and the hit UK TV show The Last Leg, Adam Hills' charming and witty memoir is a lesson in following your heart, being positive and discovering that what makes you different also makes you unique. Adam Hills was a quiet primary school kid with a prosthetic foot who did all his homework and only spoke when spoken to. His dad sparked in him a love of comedy, and together they'd spend hours watching and listening to the likes of Peter Sellers and Mel Brooks. So when it was Adam's turn to speak, he made sure he was funny. Once he hit high school, comedy was Adam's obsession (along with a deep love for the South Sydney Rabbitohs). While his mates were listening to Iron Maiden and AC/DC, he was listening to Kenny Everett and Billy Connolly. And when a report card came home with a comment praising his sense of humour, he was far prouder of that than his grades (his mum not so much). Adam's shyness and his missing foot never held him back, though wearing thongs was tricky. While other teens snuck off to meet girls and drink cheap booze, Adam snuck off to see a young Jim Carrey perform. After that, a steady diet of Rodney Rude, Vince Sorrenti and Robin Williams led this sheltered, virginal university student from The Shire to his first stand-up open mic night on his 19th birthday. In Best Foot Forward, Adam describes his early years on the Australian comedy scene sharing gigs with Steady Eddy and Jimeoin, how he coped the first time he died on stage, his early-morning apprenticeship in radio, touring the world's comedy festivals, the magic of Spicks and Specks and his hosting gig for the 2008 Paralympics that led to his hit UK TV show The Last Leg. Kermit the Frog, Whoopi Goldberg, Barry Humphries, Billy Connolly - Adam's learned from the best. In this charming and witty memoir Adam Hills shows how hard work, talent and being proudly different can see you find your feet.

Best Foot Forward

How to never grow up, the complete guide.

The Encyclopedia of Immaturity

Night of the Crash-test Dummies

Humble Pi: A Comedy of Maths Errors

The Worst Case Scenario Survival Handbook

You've seen him wearing speedos, kissing babies, driving a mining truck and campaigning on Big Brother. But who is the real Tony Abbott? In the grand tradition of Bushisms and The Wit of Whitlam, here are the sayings of Australia's Prime Minister, unvarnished and rich in revelation - the very best and worst of Abbott, the irrepressible mad monk. Tony speaks - on family: 'If you want to know who to vote for, I'm the guy with the not bad looking daughters.' Adversaries: 'Does this guy ever shut up?' Honesty: There will always be some issues that are contentious, but the best way to deal with them is openly, candidly and behind closed doors.' Female colleagues: 'They're young, feisty, I think I can probably say have a bit of sex appeal and they're just very connected with the local area.' Poverty: 'we just can't stop people from being homeless if that's their choice' Climate change: 'absolute crap' Christian teaching: 'Jesus knew that there was a place for everything and it is not necessarily everyone's place to come to Australia.' And that's just a taste . . .

Tony Speaks!

An outstanding, illuminating and hilarious work of reference that minutely details every rude, unpleasant, and downright disgusting habit known to man (and woman). Includes details of the habits, their impacts on others, and ways to treat or break them, as well as looking at the attitudes of other cultures and other historical periods.

Habitus Disgustica

He's shown the world what to do when we're feeling blue, how to say thanks for everything to our mothers, how to find the perfect man in an imperfect world - now Bradley Trevor Greive - BTG to all his fans - prepares to reveal the biggest, most sought-after secret of all - THE MEANING OF LIFE! Following the pattern of his other bestsellers - THE BLUE DAY BOOK has sold over 400,000 copies in Australia and over 2 million worldwide; DEAR MUM has sold over 200,000 copies here and nearly 1 million around the world! - THE MEANING OF LIFE combines gorgeous animal photos with BTG's poignant and pertinent words about what life really means and what we're here to do. A must for anyone who's already the discovered the magic of these powerfully funny little books!

The Meaning of Life

Pippi Longstocking is funny and feisty. This edition of the original Pippi Longstocking story celebrates Pippi's 50th anniversary in the UK.

Pippi Longstocking

Mr Twit is a foul and smelly man with bits of cornflake and sardine in his beard. Mrs Twit is a horrible old hag with a glass eye. They've kept Muggle-Wump the monkey and his family caged in the garden for far too long, and now the monkeys want to take their revenge . . .

The Twits

Dolphin adores her mother: she s got wonderful clothes, bright hair and vivid tattoos all over her body. She definitely lives a colourful life. Dolphin s older sister, Star, also loves her but is beginning to wonder if staying with a mum whose temper can

The Illustrated Mum

Marty and her sister Melissa couldn't be more different. Marty loves her Converse trainers, playing football, hiding in her secret den and helping her dad with his DIY. But Melissa loves Justin Bieber and all things pink, girly and pretty. The sisters can manage to live together, despite their occasional scraps but then Mum tells them they have to share a room. For Marty, having to share her bunk beds and lose her private sanctuary turns out to be the very worst thing about having a sister. But the girls soon discover that being too close for comfort can have unexpected consequences, and when an accident happens, the sisters realise they are closer than they thought.

The Worst Thing About My Sister

The Jacqueline Wilson Christmas Cracker is packed with lots of festive fun! Including: - Brilliant Christmas stories - A classic favourite- Starring Tracy Beaker - An exclusive, brand-new story from Jacqueline - Festive puzzles - Tasty Christmas recipes - Perfect present tips - Fun Christmas facts - A guide to making your own Christmas tree decorations Merry Christmas from Jacqueline Wilson!

The Jacqueline Wilson Christmas Cracker

I'M TRACY BEAKER, THE GREAT INVENTOR OF EXTREMELY OUTRAGEOUS DARES - AND I DARE YOU TO READ A MORE BRILLIANT STORY THAN THIS! I've bought a big fat purple notebook for writing down all my mega-manic ultra-scary stories in. But especially for my own story. Of how my foster-mum, Cam, has turned out to be a real meanie. No designer clothes, when I really need them. A pokey flat, and a horrible new school. No wonder I bunk off . . . Still, it will have to do until my real mum comes and gets me. And until then, no-one is going to be better at the Dare Game than Tracy Beaker!

The Dare Game

Watch out Santa, Nanny Piggins is coming to town this Christmas! Watch out Santa, Nanny Piggins is coming to town this Christmas! This is not a survival guide to Christmas. This is a guide to conquering the Yuletide season! That's right, it is time to take a stand - don't suffer through another year of brussels sprouts, gift-wrapped socks and slobbery kisses from great aunts who forget to put their teeth in. Take control of your Christmas and put the happy back in your holiday, using the handy hints, games and inspiring stories within this book.

The Nanny Piggins Guide to Conquering Christmas

A vote for Piggins is a vote for cake In this riveting eighth installment of Nanny Piggins' adventures, she sets out to thwart Mr. Green's political ambitions by running for mayor herself. Her mission--to proudly fight for Liberty, Equality, and Cake Is democracy safe? Probably not. Will Nanny Piggins give everyone in the electorate diabetes from too much cake? Most likely. And along the way tremendous adventure abounds. Taking part in a diabolical fun run, being trapped in a sabotaged lift, faking seismic activity, safeguarding the local vacant lot, and beating the world pole vault record is just the beginning.

Nanny Piggins and the Race to Power

Never fear, Nanny Piggins is here! When Mr. Green calls from a tropical island, begging to be rescued, Nanny Piggins' first instinct is to say no. However, a principle is at stake. No one kidnaps her employer--at least not without written permission from her. So Nanny Piggins sets out to save the hapless tax lawyer, and to do so she must first dabble in a spot of bungee jumping, deceive immigration officials wearing a fake mustache, and seduce the President with her most powerful weapon--the dance of the seven cakes.

The Daring Rescue

Justice served with extra chocolate sauce Nanny Piggins gets in trouble with the law after some illicit tight rope walking, and is sentenced to 5000 hours community service. But she isn't the type of pig to take her punishment lying down, not when there are old people to rescue, pirates to impersonate, and a great big bus to borrow.

Nanny Piggins and the Pursuit of Justice

When Nanny Piggins discovers some startling truths about the ruthless ringmaster, the circus will never be the same. But she doesn't stop there, she also makes time to provide counselling to a Molavadinian princess with pre-wedding jitters, win a Nobel Prize while impersonating her sister and catch up with her favourite 4-tonne friend, Esmeralda the forgetful elephant.

Nanny Piggins and the Rival Ringmaster

Book #4 Instead of being in school, Derrick, Samantha and Michael find themselves in NASA's space shuttle, which Nanny Piggins manages to blast into outer space ...

Nanny Piggins and the Accidental Blast-off

A curly tale of revenge, rescue and jam-filled doughnuts. A curly tale of revenge, rescue and jam-filled doughnuts. With a runaway lion loose in the neighbourhood, Derrick, Samantha and Michael feel scared. Nanny Piggins feels like a slice of cake. And Boris feels like that lion looks strangely familiar. In this third action-packed book of adventures, Nanny Piggins tames a lion and a lion tamer. She revolutionises the sport of ski jumping, introduces hot-pink leotards to the local Neighbourhood Watch, demonstrates trapeze skills on a moving bus, plays badminton with a wok and teaches Shakespeare a thing or two about how to write a play. All while thwarting Mr Green's attempt to send her favourite children to Nicaragua (she does find it wearisome having to put him in his place constantly). And yet, somehow, she still finds time to bake lots and lots of cake.

Nanny Piggins and the Runaway Lion

When Mr. Green announces his diabolical plan to remarry, his children are horrified at the thought of losing their beloved Nanny Piggins.

Nanny Piggins and the Wicked Plan

Nanny Piggins, the world's most glamorous flying pig, runs away from the circus and goes to live with the Greens as their nanny. The Green children, Derrick, Samantha and Michael, fall in love with her instantly. Who could not fall in love with a Nanny whose only job qualifications are her astonishing ability to be fired out of a cannon and her amazing ability to make chocolate cake, sometimes both at the same time? They then have some wonderful adventures together. I won't spoil them for you by listing them all but they do include catching a serial doorknob thief, hiding a 10-foot dancing bear in the basement and being lost at sea en route to China. If you don't believe us, listen to the experts: 'No one knows more about firing cannons than Nanny Piggins. We could have used a pig like her in the last war.' MAJOR GENERAL WINTERBOTTOM, ROYAL ARTILLERY REGIMENT 'Reading this book made me give up eating bacon sandwiches.' JANET MURRAY, PIG FARMER 'I used to want to be a brain surgeon but Nanny Piggins taught me there are much more important jobs in life.' HANS THE BAKER 'Nanny Piggins is the love of my life. If I could read this book without sobbing over every page, I would.' SCHOOL DISTRICT SUPERINTENDENT FINKLESTICK

Comedy Books